食鱼头记

周末，妻子买了一条鲜鱼换口味
以前多是鲫鱼、鳊鱼，这次是比较贵的鲈鱼
孩子们喜欢在超市的玻璃水箱前留连
却不爱吃鱼，杀鱼时，吓得双双捂上眼睛

当我“喔喔嘬嘬”地，把烫手的青瓷碗
从蒸锅中端出来，手指摸过耳垂后
如往常一样，第一件事
就是用筷子掐下鱼头，夹到自己碗中……

小时候我怕腥，很少吃鱼，除了
用火炭焐得枯焦香脆的鱼尾
后来渐渐能吃鱼背、鱼籽、鱼白、鱼腩
再后来，我成了吃鱼头的人

我喜欢它的复杂结构之间的柔软组织
喜欢它，对于油盐酱醋的充分吸收
喜欢它不同部位间细腻的味差
还有类似于发掘石器时代遗址的种种收获

在对鱼头的解构中，我更俨然体会到
一个男人在家庭中的责任、权威，和成就
从鱼嘴开始，我以接吻的姿势
把它的唇膏吮吸干净

然后在孩子们惊讶的目光和“啊唷”声中
挑出鱼眼，入口，咬碎
一并吞下四十年
磨练出来的麻木、满不在乎和自暴自弃……


2011－08－04

喜欢。总有好诗分享。

In the weekend, my wife bought a live fish
Not a carp, not a bream, It was a perch instead
My kids love to linger in front of the supermarket fish tank
But they don't like eating it. both covered eyes when the fish was killed

After I took out the hot blue bowl from the steamer
Screaming "oh suck suck",  putting fingers on earlobes
As usual, the first thing for me
Was to pluck the  fish head with chopsticks......

I hated fishy smell when I was little, except
Crispy fish tail scorched by charcoal fire
But gradually I could eat fish back, roe, belly
And now, I became a man of eating fish head

I liked the soft tissues between its complex structure
Liked its full absorption of oil,salt,soy ,and vinegar
Liked the delicate taste difference between its different parts
And the similar harvest as excavating Stone Age sites

In the deconstruction of the fish head, I seemed to be enjoying
A man's responsibility, authority, achievement  in the family
Started from the fish mouth, I made a kiss posture
sucked it's lip clean,

Then, disregarding children's surprised look and scream
Picked out the eyeballs, threw them into my mouth, chewed
And swallowed down all of the numbness, indifference and abandonment
From forty years honing



2011-08-04

喜欢！

抱怨得太多，而感谢得太少
你充满恐惧地回想：
下午你奋力推撞那差不多已经锯断的高大树桩时
忘记了儿子正在另一边使劲地扳拉
树干猛地倒下，只差两厘米！
只差两厘米！
就会砸在仰面跌倒的儿子身上
应该感谢这两厘米！
应该感谢零厘米以上的任何一个厘米！
应该感谢的太多，而可抱怨只有自己

2013-10-13

Complained too much, but too little thanks
With full of fear you recall:
You were pushing against that tall stump almost sawed off
Forgot your son pulling hard on the other side
The trunk suddenly fall, only a thin two centimeters!
Only a thin two centimeters!
It would hit your son on the ground
Should thank that 2 centimeters!
Should thank any centimeter above zero
Too much to thank, but only you can be blamed

2013-10-13

拜读，喜欢。。顶梁柱啊。

谢姜兄喜欢。明日起出门旅游一周，回来后再与老兄切磋。祝一切安好。

路途快乐！

女儿的小手在我鬓边摩挲，用镊子
不时拔出一根头发
这些发丝，大多通体明白，闪着贵金属的光泽
也有的半截银灰，像是温度计中的汞
少数依然青黑，因为女儿失手，受到无辜的株连
“哦，对不起。”她连连道歉，一边命令我
坐直，别动，听任她一本正经地
销毁其与时间合谋催老的证据
我挺直脖子，脑子里却想着公元766年的一天
在夔州，一位失意的老诗人，对镜镊白
并赋诗，上呈给掌握一方军政的都督
（似乎他的头发关系重大
应该让封疆大吏备案，并禀报中央政府
或者，帝国的各级政府，应该为他头发花白
尚未建功立业而负全盘的责任）
我不禁嗤嗤笑出声来，暗自揣度着
夔州都督读到此诗时的感想
但我在嗤笑之时，也不免嗤笑自己的嗤笑：
应当承认，他的头发变色的过程，乃是中国诗歌
走向最高、最深、最远的过程
而我的，充其量不过是女儿的娱乐
——当她长大，其娱乐价值也会消失

2011－09－23

Daughter's little hands are caressing my head, A pair of tweezers
Pull out a hair one after another
These hairs, mostly white, shining luster of precious metals
And some half grey, like mercury in a tiny glass tube
Few still black, innocent, implicated for her mistakes
"Oh, I'm sorry." She apologizes again and again, and commands me
Sit up straight, do not move, let her solemnly
destroy the evidence of her collusion with Time
I straighten up my neck, but actually thinking about that day
In 766 A.D.,In Kuizhou, in front of a mirror
A frustrated old poet, pulling white hairs with tweezers
Then wrote a poem,  presented it to the governor
(As if his hair was so significant that it should be recorded and reported
To the central government. Or all levels of government
And whole empire, should be blamed
For his wasteful aging without any great achievement )
I can not help smirking, secretly speculate
The governor's impression of reading the poem

读了一遍。明天早上再读一遍。

Daughter's little hands are caressing my head, A pair of tweezers
Pull out a hair one after another
These hairs, mostly white, shining luster of precious metals
Some half grey, like mercury in a tiny glass tube
Few still black, innocent, implicated for her mistakes
"Oh, I'm sorry." She apologizes again and again, and commands me
Sit up straight, do not move, let her solemnly
destroy the evidence of her collusion with Time
I straighten up my neck, but actually thinking about that day
In 766 A.D.,In Kuizhou, in front of a mirror
A frustrated old poet, pulling white hairs with tweezers
Then wrote a poem,presented it to the governor
(As if his hair was so significant that it should be recorded and reported
To the central government. Or all levels of government
And whole empire, should be blamed
For his wasteful aging without any great achievement )
I can not help smirking, secretly speculate
The governor's impression of reading the poem
But when I smirk , I also smirk for my smirk :
It should be admitted that his hair whitening process was also the process
Of Chinese poetry toward the highest, deepest, farthest
And to mine, at best, it is just my daughter's entertainment
- When she grows up, its entertainment value will disappear

2011-09-23

细读。非常喜欢。



It should be admitted that his hair whitening process, was also the process

句子中逗号是否要。似乎容易误解。

有道理，还是不要的好，即改。

备考